Game 2 Preview

Thoughts as I chew fingernails and wait for 7:05.

They say it’s a must win. I suppose it is. Saying we have to win with our ace on the hill is a comment worthy of the Great McCarver; only McCarver would add, “by winning, I mean scoring more runs than the opposition.”

I’m not sure I would say I enjoy these games. They are gut wrenching. Baseball is a game of failure, with a smattering of near-failures that lead to runs. Scoring is rare. Not soccer or hockey rare---where it is so rare the announcers are never ready for it. But it’s rare.

When you aren’t at the stadium, there simply isn’t enough to do to keep the game moving. My wife passes the time by vacuuming. I write diaries that literally dozens of people look at on my site.

I love baseball. I really do. I’ll bet I’ve seen over 70% of Alberts career at-bats. I love playoff baseball even more. Still, I won’t say I’ll enjoy tonight. At least, not the way I enjoy a Carl’s Drive-in Hamburger. Or bacon. I love bacon.

Anyway, a few things you may not know about tonights game:

The Mets are hitting .181 off Carpenter, with a slugging pct. of .340. Delgado is 2-3, but no one else comes close to being frightening.

Temperatures will hover around 50 degrees, with a 20% chance of showers.

We’ve faced Maine once, so there are few meaningful splits. Albert was 2-3 off Maine, with two HR. His lifetime slugging percentage is 2.667. I love small sample sizes.

Our Hero Rolen is 0-3 lifetime against Maine, meaning if Rolen goes 0-4 tonight, it might not be the fault of the shoulder.

Joe Buck will be back at the mic. I love Joe, but every time he gets excited about a Met HR, part of me dies. Just dies. I understand why he does it, but it feeds into Joe-overload. He’s on Sunday, each weeknight, Holiday Inn Commercials, Beer Commercials. He’s turning into the Ben Affleck of October. What would we call it if Joe dated J-Lo? Huh? Gotcha there, eh? See comments for my real answer.

Question: If Fox is going to promote every TV show by putting the stars in seats that any real New Yorker would kill to have, why can’t they do the same with their movies. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see Borat as a sideline reporter, showing pictures of his naked sister to TLR during the game. Hi-Five!

The commercial breaks are extremely long in the postseason, but the drug commercials make it worthwhile. From what I gather, the average viewer or a baseball games is an old guy who can’t get it up, and has to pee six times an hour. Curiously, one of the side effects to the prostate drugs is sexual disfunction. You can’t convince me that’s a coincidence. You can hear the pitch in the board room: “And Avodart will have the added effect of zapping the patients sex life, which should boost sales of Cialis. Which reminds me, who has Bob Dole’s phone number?”

And while we're on the subject; Cialis works for 36 hours? Isn't that a long time to be "in that condition." You definitely don't want to take it the same weekend as your kids birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's.

Yeah, I'm nervous waiting for tonight. It feels like the Cards are on borrowed time. Yet a win would make this a competitive series.

Is it too much to hope for? Judging by my fingernails, I'm still nervously hoping.